I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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