I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
