Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
