So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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