READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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