Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
