how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
