Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
