Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
