Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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