Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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