I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
