i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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