i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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