That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
