I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
