Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
