Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
