Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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