whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
