ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Where did you get a picture of my penis
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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