and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
