Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
