Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
