The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
