Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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