I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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