My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
