Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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