You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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