just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
