Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
