whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
