Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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