I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
