SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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