He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
