Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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