Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
