if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
