she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I will pee on everything he values.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm sobbing to NWA
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
