My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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