Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
