I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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