I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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