Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
