he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she told me i tasted like america
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
