It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think I sprained my soul last night
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
