Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
