Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
