I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
