His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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