she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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